Vagenda

My son is home for Spring Break and I watched an episode of Fringe with him, something we’d watched together when the series first started. It’s a fun science fiction television series with convoluted plots, special effects, decent acting, and humor.

Fringe includes an alternate universe. My son had to fill me in a bit on the developments there.  Walter is Walternate in the alternate universe, from the perspective of the original universe (but which is which, and who would know?), and Olivia is Fauxlivia (as Fox News is Faux News).

Anyhoo, on a past recent episode, Walter, the character we love, a mad scientist of sorts, fragile, goofy, and brilliant, said the word “vagenda” in passing, referring to Fauxlivia’s agenda.

After the show, all these comments appeared, along the lines of “Did Walter really say that?” Walter really did. 

I love this word. Vagenda. I hope it makes it into the coined word hall of fame and into all the new dictionaries.

Vagenda. I think it could spur controversy and conversation.

Oh.  Already has, already there: Urban Dictionary. Well, some of those definitions are mean, as they so often are in the Urban Dictionary, which is part of the point, I suppose, but some are funny and get at it. (See also mansplain.) 

So much for this hump of the week.

****

Nope, I'm back.  With this:

Ghazal with a Vagenda

A manipulated man believes, at most, vagenda,

to explain his helplessness, though post-vagenda.

It’s a circular way of thinking, back to the womb.

If only he’d append a trust agenda.

The first cup of coffee, after all that eHarmony,

tastes a little bitter, with an edge of boast agenda.

But she’ll give it try—she’s lonely—full-bodied denial,

and decide it might work, that, yes, it’s just Splenda.

It’s no use arguing with a man who mansplains.

All she can manage in the morning is a toast agenda.

He opens his laptop and closes his account.

Her middle name, Virginia, is almost vagenda.