My Ideal Job

Happy Labor Day. 

Since I am out of work and still looking, I have been “visualizing” my ideal job! Ta da! It exists!  But somebody else already has it. The Bloggess!

Yes, she apparently gets paid to write about all the categories of her existence, including momhood, anxiety, sex, and silliness. And she has a book coming out in 2012. I am totally buying it. Or using my free Amazon coupon thingey to buy it. I know she will forgive me, because she is generous as well as funny. But she might mock me for writing for free. For that, I guess I forgive her.

We all have anxieties, OK?

Anyhoo, it’s possible I should also visualize more practical or likely job opportunities, since The Bloggess has already created and taken my ideal job, and good for her! 

OK, so my other ideal job is Poet in Residence. I reside here and write poetry, and get paid.

Or Generalist in Residence. (As I can also teach short fiction, literary editing, and acting, etc.)

In this ideal position at a local college or university, I teach but am not required to attend department or committee meetings.  I am paid to teach workshop classes with no paper grading, and to set up readings and performance events for the students, inviting the town, and having lots of fun. The students would be traditional and nontraditional college students and members of the community who write, act, or whatever. 

We would have a big event every year and invite The Bloggess as our guest speaker. She can say whatever she wants, and would be free to stage another zombie apocalypse.

Another version of the ideal job is one in which I have my own office, fresh flowers in a clear glass vase, and a friendly candy dish (wrapped candies for all, to avoid germ spreading).

It’s a job in which I get to wear more of the clothes in my closet, all saved for a rainy day on which I go to work and get paid. Right now, I wear jammies on into the day, forget to eat breakfast, and then, if I have to go beyond my back yard or my front stoop, put on an outfit I might wear off-and-on for the next week, until there’s some real reason to wash it.

I did have a reason to wash my clothes after creating the homemade compost bin from a garbage can, and after climbing up a ladder into the lilac tree to pull down the seedpods of sweet autumn clematis, which resemble the lady parts of the Wicked Witch of the West and all her female progeny. I can’t even find images of these on the Internet, and I know why!

Fear not, I am actually making a go of it with freelance work and visualizing labial seedpods opening to spread money into my eagerly cupped hands. 

I am furiously happy to blog and write poems for free.

See also Labors of Love at Escape Into Life.