A Call for Virtuous Womanhood

As I reflected on God's will for young girls last week, I considered my own daughters.  It has been a joy to see God's grace as they grow up with discretion and virtue; yet I also know that - as a society - we have strayed far from God's standards. 

The first thing which came to my mind is how fathers give their daughters away in marriage.  While this is a part of marriage ceremonies today, it has mostly lost its significance. 

The reason why the father presents the daughter at the wedding is because it signifies her being given from his household to the household of her husband.  A young girl was to be under the care/authority of her father until she married, at which point she would come under the care/authority of her husband. 

This was not something to be done just in "Bible days"; nor was it intended to limit the young ladies.  It reflects the protection and covering of patriarchy, a blessing God gives as a reflection of Himself amongst His people. It gives an identity to the family, which is why family members take on the last name of the father (patriarch).  Such is also why the woman replaces her father's last name with her husband's in marriage.

Now, the things which God has given for our benefit, are the very things we despise...because of sin. Today, young ladies cannot wait to leave the home of their parents; to be independent and on their own.  Women often bristle at what should be the honor of taking their husband's last name in marriage.  Many simply append the husband's name to their own in order to retain their own individuality/independence.  Yet these are the poisonous fruit of feminism; it promises a bright, shiny red apple which looks pleasant and able to make one wise, but once bitten it brings death.

Have we not all had a bite out of that rotten fruit?  Through time it has continued to decay, showing itself via a culture of death which envelops the young people of our day.  Nowhere is this more apparent then in the countenance of young girls. 

Scripture says that the woman is the glory of the man (I Corinthians 11:7).  The Amplified Bible puts is this way, "but woman is the expression of man's glory (majesty, preeminence)".  In other words, you can tell the spiritual state of men by looking at the women. This works both ways.  If the men in a society are virtuous, then the women will be ladies of virtue.  If the men are defiled, then the women will likewise reflect that which is reprobate.

Romans Chapter 1 describes the perversion which will (and has) set in during the end times; and one barometer God sets on this devolution is the women.  In an expression of utter amazement, God says during this time that "even the women" will turn away from that which is natural to that which is unnatural (verse 26). 

As evidence to this truth, it is now en vogue for young ladies to dress immodestly, to curse like sailors, and to act like prostitutes. Instead of bringing life to man as a help meet for him, the women are on the prowl and the men are the prey.  How are these girls hunting?  By putting their "wares" on display and competing with each other in order to be more available (sexually and otherwise) to men.

The Wall Street Journal ran an article this month entitled, "Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That?" which explored the current phenomenon of girls being "pimped out" by their parents in the way they are allowed to dress.  An interview with the author about this article is in the video below.



Although the author speaks from a secular perspective, her insights are valid...even for those "in the church".  In speaking about the path we have helped blaze for our daughters in this area, author Jennifer Moses writes:

"We are the first moms in history to have grown up with widely available birth control, the first who didn't have to worry about getting knocked up. We were also the first not only to be free of old-fashioned fears about our reputations but actually pressured by our peers and the wider culture to find our true womanhood in the bedroom. Not all of us are former good-time girls now drowning in regret—I know women of my generation who waited until marriage—but that's certainly the norm among my peers...

Still, in my own circle of girlfriends, the desire to push back is strong. I don't know one of them who doesn't have feelings of lingering discomfort regarding her own sexual past. And not one woman I've ever asked about the subject has said that she wishes she'd "experimented" more...

But it's easy for parents to slip into denial. We wouldn't dream of dropping our daughters off at college and saying: "Study hard and floss every night, honey—and for heaven's sake, get laid!" But that's essentially what we're saying by allowing them to dress the way they do while they're still living under our own roofs."

Am I saying that we should put young girls on lock-down; chain them to the homes and make sure every inch of their bodies are always covered?  No.  I am saying that the virtues of true womanhood are not defined in the bedroom, but in the Bible.  The honor and dignity of being a woman has been largely lost in this generation and this lapse of vision will not be corrected until we address the root cause of the issue. 

What many do not realize is that such issues for girls says more about their perception of fatherhood (patriarchy) than it does about their desire to be seen as attractive.  Since the identity in a family comes from the father, when that relationship is skewed, the girl is left less than whole inside.  Yes, a mother's presence and role in raising children is critical as well.  God has appointed both mothers and fathers as necessary components in raising Godly children (Malachi 2:15).  However, the blessing of patriarchy bestows a unique sense of belonging and place in the heart which makes us whole.  It tells us where we come from, to whom we belong, and even what inheritance is ours.  Just as the Christians identity is grounded in God the Father (Romans 8:15-17; Galatians 4:6-7), the earthly father plays the same role in an earthly family.

This is why studies have continually shown that absent fathers (physically or emotionally) result in increased sexual activity among young girls.  Scripture also acknowledges that a young girl's promiscuity is a reflection on the father (Leviticus 21:9).  She is looking for in other men what she lacks with her own father, whether it is acceptance, security, approval, love, etc.

We are so far gone from God's ways, that many do not even realize a young girl's effort to "find a boy" is in itself abnormal. Notice, I did not say that it is abnormal for a girl to be attracted to a boy.  I am saying that it is abnormal for her to actively pursue him; it is the evidence of her being incomplete inside.

The Scripture says that he who "finds a wife" finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22).  The man "finds" a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10).  Remember, the marriage relationship between man and woman is a reflection of Christ's relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:31-32); and this includes the steps leading up to engagement.  As the bride of Christ, it is not we who have searched for and claimed Jesus.  He is the one who first sought us (Ephesians 2:4-5; I John 4:19; Titus 3:3-5).  We belong to Him because He first claimed us; we did not choose Him, but He chose us (John 15:16).

Similarly, it is the man who initiates the relationship with the woman.  Just as with Adam, God personally prepares a woman for a man and then reveals her to him as his wife so that the man may begin the courtship.  The only woman in Scripture who is out aggressively looking for and claiming a man is the "strange woman" in Proverbs.

"For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life." Proverbs 6:26

"And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee." Proverbs 7:10-15

"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men."  Proverbs 23:28

It is true deliverance for young women in the Lord to realize that they don't have to "find" a husband.  All she has to do is stay in obedience to the Lord and - if it is His will for her to have a husband - He will provide the one He has selected for her.

This is exactly opposite to the mentality of the world where girls are encouraged to "test the waters" by seeking out and obtaining boyfriends, even in childhood; trying on boys like one tries on shoes.  The result is what we see now: hordes of young girls carrying themselves like discounted merchandise in the hopes of being picked up by the lowest bidder.

Yet, this is the legacy we have been left when we follow the feminist view of "empowerment".  Last Fall, Anne Kingston wrote an article entitled "Outraged Moms, Trashy Daughters" where feminists lamented over the "trashy" state of their daughters.  Their conclusion: More work remains for feminists to do.  My conclusion: We are reaping what we have sown.

Contrary to what the article presents, the crux of the problem lies with the whole feminist ideology.  The very thing missing from the article is what has been whitewashed out of their ideology: fatherhood.  One reviewer, who I am quoting below, summarizes her assessment of this article:

Feminism brainwashed young women to see husbands as oppressors and family as bondage. There was no longer any reason to restrict sex to love and marriage.  Understandably, feminists don't want to admit their teachers have betrayed them.

Even while they wring their hands, feminists are blinded by their ideology.  Both mothers and daughters are victims of deliberate social subversion. Feminism was created by elite social engineers to reduce population and undermine marriage and family.  A woman's career used to be wife and mother. She consecrated her sexuality for the man she loved, the father of her children, her protector and provider.

Young women today are up a creek. They don't know how to be women and men don't know how to be men. But one thing that hasn't changed is - men don't marry sluts. These girls are going to be left high and dry once their sex appeal has faded.

They obsess on looking beautiful but don't know that true beauty comes from within, from a spiritual purity. This means rejecting all coarse influences and behavior. It means focusing on what is good, true, human and inspiring.

It's not too late for girls to learn to be women again.

And I echo that it is not too late.

In Isaiah Chapter 3, God punishes Israel for her idolatry by taking away the patriarchs from the land (verses 1-3).  As a result, society gets turned upside down; people will be oppressed, children unruly, the base things of life will be exalted over that which is honorable (verses 4-7).  The people will sin openly and not be ashamed, but will boldly demonstrate their unrighteous ways (verses 8-11).  As a result of this disorder, God says:

"As for My people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O My people, your leaders cause you to err, and they confuse (destroy and swallow up) the course of your paths." Isaiah 3:12

This is what we see in society and what the mothers in the articles above are mourning over.  The consequence of God removing the righteous patriarchs from society results in children running wild and women left to rule. Take a look at the impact this has on young women: 

"Moreover, the Lord said, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks and with undisciplined (flirtatious and alluring) eyes, tripping along with mincing and affected gait, and making a tinkling noise with the anklets on their feet, Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the heads of the daughters of Zion making them bald, and the Lord will cause them to be taken as captives and to suffer the indignity of being stripped naked. 

In that day the Lord will take away the finery of their tinkling anklets, the caps of network, the crescent head ornaments, The pendants, the bracelets or chains, and the spangled face veils and scarfs, The headbands, the short ankle chains attached from one foot to the other to insure a measured gait, the sashes, the perfume boxes, the amulets or charms suspended from the ears or neck, The signet rings and nose rings, The festal robes, the cloaks, the stoles and shawls, and the handbags, The hand mirrors, the fine linen undergarments, the turbans, and the whole body-enveloping veils. 

And it shall come to pass that instead of the sweet odor of spices there shall be the stench of rottenness; and instead of a girdle, a rope; and instead of well-set hair, baldness; and instead of a rich robe, a girding of sackcloth; and searing of captives by the scorching heat instead of beauty...AND IN that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread and provide our own apparel; only let us be called by your name to take away our reproach of being unmarried." Isaiah 3:16-24, 4:1

Is this curse not what we see on our streets today?  Young girls walking proudly as they use their bodies like a divining rod to allure and compete for a dwindling number of men.  Instead of bearing a crown of glory, the woman's covering is removed leaving her spiritually bare/bald and without discretion (I Corinthians 11:6-15).  The very spirit she walks in declares, "I am fatherless; I have no spiritual covering".  Young women who should be a precious and sweet savor instead become a stench of rottenness.  I am also reminded of the ending text of the Old Testament:

"Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." Malachi 4:5-6

We need the hearts of the fathers to turn back to the children, so that the hearts of the children can be turned back to the fathers.  We need a restoration of true patriarchy in the hearts of God's people, which is founded in Godly leadership, vision, and self-sacrifice.  When men of God stand and take their rightful place - in the home first, and then in the church - and women of God stand to complement them, we will see a remarkable shift in the children.

Young ladies do not have to "find" a husband.

Don't have to use their bodies to "attract" a man.

Don't have to fornicate in order to "keep" a man.
Don't have to debase themselves in order to "please" a man.

Simply delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).  The question is, "Do you trust God to do this in your life?  Do you believe that His ways are higher than our ways?  Do you want to have your true value restored and walk in a calling that is worthy of respect or are you satisfied living a sub-standard and lonely life where you are never treasured as the precious gem God created you to be?"  The choice is yours.

I cannot tell anyone how to handle their own households; nor do I believe that there is a one size fits all approach for how we are to raise our daughters. I share this information in the hope that it might prompt some to truly seek God's heart & His ways; not just accept that the ways of the world are what is right or even inevitable.  It doesn't have to be this way for young women.  We can choose to show a different path for our own daughters...and our sons.

I have previously posted videos from Min. Voddie Baucham.  His eldest daughter, Jasmine Baucham, has recently written a book entitled, "Joyfully at Home".   "Joyfully at Home" started out as a blog by Jasmine as she chronicled her experiences and insights in deciding to stay at the home of her father until marriage.  Jasmine was also highlighted in a documentary called, "Return of the Daughters" which interviews various young women who have made similar decisions (an excerpt of which is posted in the video below).

Lastly, here is a word of encouragement for women by Dr. Annie Poonen about interceding for children who may be going down the wrong path called "God Will Save Your Children".  I pray it is a blessing to you.

UPDATE: I have included a sermon from Min. Baucham on "Biblical Womanhood" after the Return of the Daughters clip below.  In this sermon, he discusses:

• Biblical womanhood is first & foremost reverent in behavior, seeking to bring honor to God and not to herself in everything she does.
• We are no longer raising women in our culture.  We are raising men who happen to be biologically able to have children.  We are raising women to conduct themselves like men.
• Fathers are primarily accountable for the way their daughters dress.
• When dressing, a woman should consider what aspect of her person she is drawing attention to and then consider whether such is pleasing to God.  What a woman draws attention to in her dress is what she considers to be the most valuable thing about her.
• A young girl's value and worth is not contingent upon men lusting after her.
• A woman deserves to be honored, respected, and protected.  A woman is not a piece of meat to satisfy the sinful, fleshly desires of a man.  Your price is above rubies.
• If a man is not decent enough to be attracted to reverent behavior, then you don't want him anyway.
• A biblical woman who is a teacher of what is good and able to disciple & give instruction to children.
• There is a Greco-Roman myth which says that love is a random, overwhelming, uncontrollable sensual force; this is often symbolized by cupid.  This is not biblical, but is a faulty, godless definition of love.
• A wrong definition of love can even make a father uncomfortable in showing affection to his daughter once she starts to develop into a woman.  A number of young girl's yearning for a boyfriend coincides with this break in affection with their father.
• Biblical womanhood pushes past sensual/emotional love into biblical love.  Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, that leads to selfless action.  This is why Titus 2 tells elder women to teach younger women how to love their husbands and children. Jesus at the Garden of Gethsemane is a prime example of biblical love.
• Biblical womanhood exercises self-control and is pure.
• In the world, purity is not having sex before marriage.  According to Scripture, purity is a lifestyle even after marriage.
• Biblical womanhood focuses on working at home.  This doesn't mean that no work outside of the home occurs, as made clear in Proverbs 31.  It means that the woman's role in her home (as a wife and mother) is her top priority.
• Most families are doing "wife swap" where the wife goes out to support another man in his business endeavor while another woman (or women) takes responsibility for keeping the home (cleaning, cooking, and caring for the children).
  
• Biblical womanhood walks in submission to their husbands.  Women war against submission by nature as a result of the fall.  Feminists like to counter the biblical commands by saying that submission is mutual or conditional; yet this is proven false by Scripture.

For added reading, you may also want to see the article,"Women, Reverence Your Husbands".

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I wanted to share with you sermons from Pastor Zac Poonen on how to build a Godly home.

There are so many misconceptions in this area.  From those who seem to have no regard for a family rooted in God to those who try to exert legalistic control over families in order to give the appearance that their home is rooted in God.

It is the same in the church, which is the family of God.  A fellowship cannot have a disregard for Godly character and neither can it impose legalistic ordinances in the hopes of developing Godly fruit.  Both of these approaches is the antithesis of Godly authority and is of the flesh.

The type of life needed in the home is the same as what is needed in the church: it is the life of the Spirit of God.  It is only when we are seeking and submitting to the leading of the Spirit - and not simply the whims of man - that Godly families (both physical and spiritual) are birthed.

May God keep us from the deception of believing that the works of the Spirit can be counterfeited by works of the flesh or that appearances count more than spiritual substance.  Pastor Poonen does an excellent job in expounding upon these basic tenets of faith as it is reflected in our families.

You can click below on each topic's header to hear the sermon or click on the link above to see the whole list of sermons in this area.

 A Home Built by a Godly Couple

• Not having an inordinate attachment to children.  The closest relationship must be between husband and wife, not parents and children.
• Establishing a household which is open to hospitality so that your union can be used to minister to others.
• There is a difference between true fellowship and religiosity.  In speaking of a home bible study which God led Pastor Zoonen to end, he says "We can sit in a house and discuss all types of things, but be wasting everybody's time."  God wants homes like Aquila and Priscilla, not simply dead works.
• Respecting Godly order in the home, including proper submission.  It is the wife who brings the spirit of submission into a home and it is the same which drives away the spirit of rebellion in children (Proverbs 14:1, 29:15).  The root of rebellion in the children is rebellion in the wife.  
• The importance of having men who act like men (I Corinthians 16:13).  Men must not give up headship in the home due to a fear of war.
• If you have children, make it a priority to raise them in the way of the Lord.  "Let me see how your children behave and I will tell you what type of person you are.  You can fool other people, but you cannot fool your children." 

God's Plan for an Excellent Marriage

• The world is upside down, with wrong ideas of marriage.  
• Marriage should take one's life from "not good" to "very good" in terms of the type of blessing God intends it to be (Genesis 2:18; Genesis 1:31).  This can only happen when we follow God's ways.
• The first one who tried to "put asunder" the marriage union was the serpent.  Discord in marriage - dictatorship by the husband or independence by the wife - gives a stronghold to Satan.
• Man must pursue the lifelong goal of loving his wife as Christ loves the church, which speaks to an ever-increasing love being perfected in him.  How is a man to do this?  By being a leader like Christ; laying down his life for her.  The "ego", the "self", the "I" must be crucified.
• The importance of a submissive spirit in a wife in deeply respecting and reverencing her husband.  Submission by the wife is not about the perfection of the husband, but the perfecting of the wife.
• The two must become "one flesh".  Leave, cleave, and become one.  Cut the umbilical cord to parents so that you can be properly attached to your spouse.  Don't let relatives run - or RUIN - your lives!
• Be quick to forgive.
• Don't minimize coming together in sexual union, but understand that sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed in marriage.

Parents' Responsibility for Their Children

• One of the qualifications for eldership is the ability of a man to raise obedient children (I Timothy 3:4, 12; Titus 1:6).  
• Don't try to justify yourself regarding your children's shortcomings.  "Whatever area you justify yourself and find an excuse for your failure, you will continue to be defeated in all your life...Whatever area you acknowledge your failure in, it can go well with you."
• None of our children are perfect; they make mistakes.  Don't try to hide the mistakes of your children or make them appear to be perfect, for you will only raise Pharisees.
• Abraham was chosen by God because He knew Abraham would "command" His children and his household in the things of God (Genesis 18:19).  The only commandment God gives children is that they obey their parents. 
• It is the parent's responsibility to properly raise the children and teach them the practical things of godliness, including the importance of being truthful and considerate to others.
• Stay away from favoritism or partiality with the children, for it only breeds enmity, jealousy, and strife in the home.
• Don't seek to please your children, but seek to please the Lord. 
• If you have made mistakes in the raising of your children - and we all have - cry out to God and ask for His mercy on them.   
• The possession of Godly character is to be valued far more than top performance, intelligence, or cleverness. 
• True fellowship between parents and children is the foundation for relationship with them. 
• Your children may not be called to your ministry, but they should be inspired to follow the Lord by your Godly example. Does your example draw them closer to the Lord or push them further away?

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This post was originally made in another forum based on a conversation we were having about marriage.  However, I believe it is important enough to post here.  For the purposes of this message, we will be using the Amplified Version of the Scriptures.

"Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands... 

However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."  Ephesians 5:22-24, 33

Is that not a mouthful or what??  This is the basis for having a Godly marriage.  It is certainly a tall order, but it is indeed possible if we allow the Lord to guide our hearts, minds, and souls.  As our Creator, He knows how He has designed both man and woman, and it is with a purpose in mind.

Marriage is a beautiful, poetic, and symmetrical reflection of the relationship we have with the Lord.  God loves us, and because He does, He gave His life for us. In response to that unselfish love of placing us even before His own life, He deserves our respect and reverence. He is a Father and a Husband to us regarding our relationship with Him.

Similarly, in a marriage, the father and husband (the man) is commanded to love his wife and lay his life down for her as a show of that love. In recognition of that sacrifice, the wife is commanded to reverence her husband. 

How many times do people fight against this?  How often is it that we pretend being "free in Christ" means being free from the commands in God's word?  There no longer being "male nor female" in Christ does not mean there are no longer distinctions, but that there are no longer divisions in Him.  Yet, there still remain roles He has designated for each, and again He does this for a purpose. 

"Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord." Colossians 3:18-20

What God has outlined in the covenant of marriage is what is needed to produce a godly seed (Malachi 2:15).  This not only is true for physical seed, but spiritual seed as well.  The family is a reflection of the Godhead (Ephesians 5:32), so perverting the nature of family by default results in a perversion of God.

Yet as society has walked further and further away from that which is Godly, many have rejected such "traditional roles".  I say that unless we return to the old pathways and follow what God has prescribed, then society will continue to reap what has been sown: rebellion, chaos, and anarchy (Isaiah 3:12). 

A sister in the Lord recently shared some insights that she uses in her desire to reverence her husband. I thought they were right on point and am sharing them here in case they edify you as well.

Things To Keep In Mind About Reverencing Your Husband

• He is my priority next to God in my life, not other relationships, children or friends.
  
• I seek counsel from him first before my pastor or anyone else.
  
• I do not interrupt him when he is talking.
  
• I do not correct him in front of others. If the error is not life threatening, I wait to talk to him about it when we are alone.
  
• I do not make jokes at his expense.
  
• I encourage my children to honor him and I do not undermine his authority...either in his presence or in his absence.
  
• I do not reference him as one of my children.
  
• I try to focus on the things that are important to him and not the things that aren't.  This way, I don't have wonder whether he appreciates what I do.
  
• I make him a priority in my day and try to be available & rested for intimacy in our relationship. Being tired all the time is not a good excuse.
  
• I do not allow my family members (parents or siblings) to speak disrespectfully of him

These are certainly not laws which we have to obey, but in the light in which they were shared, I do believe it gets to the heart of what it means for a wife to reverence her husband.  I pray that as you seek to see God exalted in your life and in your marriage, that you will ask Him to give you a heart set after His.

"IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him--to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].

Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them].  It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]." I Peter 3:1-6

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Living Proof of I Corinthians 7:14

"And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?" I Corinthians 7:13-16

A topic was posted on the Latter Days Message Board asking for testimonies from individuals who had been married to an unbeliever. I wanted to share a testimony here that it may be a blessing to others.

When my husband and I got married, we had been living together for over 4 years. As to be expected, there was nothing Godly about our lives. However if you had asked, we would have said we were good people. By most accounts, our marriage was normal, but since knowing the Lord we know that it was anything but normal.

We had separate bank accounts, separate bills whenever possible, thought of ourselves first, divided chores in half, etc. We were just two people sharing a house and a bed. We were not "one" and were often too selfish to think of the other person. Everything had to be divided in half because we had to maintain "fairness" by making sure one person was not investing more than the other; we knew nothing of sacrificing for each other. We really had separate lives.


Neither of us knew what it was to be married, so we emulated what we saw around us and what we grew up with. Neither could we trust each other - largely because we each knew ourselves. A woman once said to me, "No man is going to tell me nothing!" Well then, that includes Jesus too because Jesus is both fully man and fully God.

When women make this statement, they are really saying that they don't trust men. What a sad state to be married to someone and sharing the most intimate aspects of your life with them, but not really be able to trust them (and I speak from experience). In the environment where you should be most relaxed and at ease, you still have to be on guard. This is not the way that God designed marriage to be. Also, please know, that the root of this problem is often not just an issue of the other person. There are likely very real reasons why you cannot trust that have nothing to do with your spouse.

It was almost one year after marriage when I first came to know the Lord. This knowledge was so new and life changing, that I was literally brimming over with excitement. I just knew that my husband would share my joy once he became aware of who Jesus really was. I was wrong.

First, he sure didn't like the fact that there was "someone else" in our marriage. He almost felt like I had another lover - and in a sense, I guess I did. He didn't like the idea of sharing me.

And to make matters worse, I was now changing my life to accommodate this other person. Taking time to go to church, prayer meetings, Bible study, etc. Stopping certain activities (including intimate ones) which I now knew were unGodly. Listening to praise & worship music instead of popular music. He grew very resentful,and understandably so. I was no longer the woman he had married.

This caused great tension in our marriage. So I ducked in and out of church during those years. I mistakenly thought if I left that particular church, he wouldn't be so offended. Then maybe he would be more receptive to the truth.

Again, I was wrong. I didn't understand that what offends people IS the truth. I couldn't avoid that offense without at the same time compromising the truth. So, the more I tried to "save" my marriage (by not being so 'Christian'), the more I felt myself drifting away from God.


What God began to show me was that my marriage was an idol to me. As a child of divorce, I had grown up with the image of the "perfect" family in my heart. Subconsciously, I had tied my own identity into the "image" of having a husband, 2.5 kids, a house, and a dog.

So I stopped going to church as much. Stopped praying as much. Stopped reading my Bible as much. Stopped playing my music as much...

Some might say, "Oh, look how much you loved your husband in that you were willing to walk away from God in order to save your marriage." WRONG!

Love for my husband was never the driver for me pulling away from God (although I initially thought it was). It was purely selfish reasoning. I didn't want to pull down my idol of having the "perfect" family. Keeping my idol of this family image was more important to me than honoring God.

Don't ever think that any person can ever turn someone away from God. When people claim that someone else's hypocrisy, judgments, behavior turned them from God...they are lieing. God says in John 3:19 that the reason people don't commit to Jesus Christ is because they prefer darkness rather than light. It was the same for me. Those who sincerely desire to know the Lord will not be deterred by anything or anyone.

So, I drew back from the Lord in the hopes of holding on to my marriage - not out of love, but idolatry. Years later, I received a call from my old church inviting me to a women's retreat. I knew immediately that if God still wanted me, then I had to go. I could sense the Lord calling out to me and I was pricked in my heart about my unfaithfulness to Him. I determined to go.

When I told my husband about the retreat, his response was, "I don't know if our marriage is going to make it." Immediately, I knew it was the devil speaking to me.

I am not saying my husband was the devil. I am saying that the spirit behind those words he uttered was demonic. I knew the devil wanted to tap into that fear I had over losing my marriage. So I answered the devil in my heart and said, "I hear you devil and I know that is you. I am not falling for that any more. I am turning back to God."

That retreat was some needed time before the Lord. It was a time of intense prayer and searching. I came face-to-face with my idolatry and was brought to my knees in repentance. I truly felt the weight of my disobedience to God. My relationship with God also grew during that weekend. I could feel God's presence next to me and He also gave me the gift of speaking in tongues at that time. My life was changed irrevocably.

When I came back home from that retreat, I came home to a devil. Again, I am not speaking of my husband specifically here. I am speaking of the spirit operating through him. There were times when I could tangibly feel the evil around me. The devil was trying everything in his power to make me turn back...but it was too late.

God told me in no uncertain words that I could have my idol or I could have Him. I could not have both. I chose God.

I came to terms with the fact that I might lose my marriage and no longer was this thought so crippling for me. I now knew that my identity was found only in Jesus Christ. I didn't seek God's opinion when I married. This was a mess I had made. I could not hold God hostage to how it turned out.

I didn't pray that my husband would be saved because I couldn't even trust my own motivations. I knew that my prayers in that regard had been selfish. I had not been praying for him for his good, but for my own. I no longer wanted to offer soulish prayers to God about my husband, so I just prayed that God's will be done...and that His answer be quick.

To help me stay focused and battle the spiritual war occurring in my own home, I began a 1 month fast. Three weeks into that fast, my husband said he felt we needed a separation. I thank God for His wisdom in having put me on the fast because if not for that, I would likely have crumbled at this statement.

Instead, I was flat-lined. I accepted this as God's answer to my prayers. I had asked for quick resolution, and God was giving me just that.

I turned to my husband and said, "OK. Do you think you can take care of that this weekend?"

He was shocked. He replied, "You mean moving out??? I don't know if I can do it that quickly."

"OK." I said, "If we are going to do this, I just don't want to draw this out for the benefit of the children."

My husband was stunned. Again, I did not say this as some conniving, manipulating ploy to call his bluff. I had peace about however God chose to resolve the situation. Nonetheless, my husband was floored. It was clear that I was serious about serving the Lord and was not going to be deterred.

That next Sunday, my husband came with me to church and even started to attend various church functions. I never asked, because I didn't want to pressure him. But I was curious about these changes.

At one such picnic, my pastor's wife said to me, "God is working on him and soon he will be singing praises to the Lord."

I responded, "I can't EVER see him doing that!"

Her answer was quick, "You cannot say what God is going to do with that man." I understood what she meant, but I still found it hard to believe.

She was right, but I just couldn't see it. God was working on his heart, dealing with issues of which I was unaware. Two weeks later, my husband confessed to me acts of adultery he had committed. While this hurt me to the core, as he was confessing God was speaking to me at the same time.

God reminded me of my own unfaithfulness to Him and how He had forgiven me and received me back with gladness. God told me specifically that my husband had changed and was no longer the same man; that I could trust him. I could see how God had used my own life to prepare me to deal with this situation. All I could tell my husband is that if God could forgive me, how could I not forgive you?

God also revealed to me how blinded I had been by my idolatry. I was willing to walk away from God before in order to "save" a marriage that was a lie. God had wanted to give me a true marriage, where we are not just a man and woman living together, but where the two have literally become one. Yet, I could not receive that without first being willing to let go of this "image" I had in my head about what my marriage was supposed to be; an image that was far from the reality of our relationship as it turns out.

I felt that letting go of trying to control this "image" would result in me losing my marriage. But, it was my own selfish intent and idolatry that was ruining my marriage. I was holding on with both hands to filthy rags, and God wanted to give me a precious gift. But I could not receive that until I was prepared to let go.

It can be so scary to let go and let God. People say that phrase all the time, but how many people can really do it? How many people are willing to place their lives in God's hands, not trying to control what God does and how He does it in our lives? How many are willing to give control over their lives to God? This is what I had to come to terms with in God.

One week after this confession, my husband received Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. Since then, we have been growing and learning together under the guidance of God's Spirit. We learn more and more every day what it means to be one, understanding the value of the gift God has given us in marriage.

I'll also share this. Before my husband turned in faith to Him, God told me that I had to submit to him as his wife. This was VERY hard for me to understand because how in the world could I submit to someone who wasn't even submitted to God? This did not mean that I should do things I knew displeased God. It meant I was to give my husband the place of honor he deserved as the head of our family. God showed me that if I could not respect and submit to my husband, then I was fooling myself about thinking I was respecting and submitting to Him.

What I didn't realize at the time is that I could not fail to respect my husband or his role and at the same time claim to respect God. In other words, learning to respect my husband was teaching me proper reverence for God. Unless I had gone through this experience, my perverted thinking about men was always going to be an obstacle in how I related to God - even if I didn't realize it. How could I trust, believe, and love Jesus Christ as His Bride, when I could not love, believe, and trust my husband? It is a similar principle to what is stated in I John 4:20.

So what about obedience and submission? The blessed thing about getting married in the Lord is that it NEVER requires you to downgrade who you are. Take some time if you can and study how God refers to His Bride; it is a beautiful relationship.

This is a pattern of how men are to feel about and treat their wives. EVEN to the point of giving their lives for their wives, the way that Jesus has done for His church. By NO means does being in a submitted relationship to your husband mean you are less of who you are. It is not about domination but a working together as a Godly family unit. For more on the woman's role, please see the article: Don't Forget Deborah - Part 3.

Women also have to keep in mind that their Christian faith HAS to be more than just words. Faith must be sincere. For women who are single, there is value in this for you too. If we hold true to who we are in God - in our conversation and lifestyle - then everything else will fall into place because God is ordering our steps. When you claim Christ and then start fornicating with a man, you are only telling him that you are not for real. You want to be sure that when/if God brings you someone, your heart has been prepared to receive him. This way, you don't carry the baggage of your previous experiences with men into that relationship. It may not even be God's plan for you to get married. My point is that there are personal benefits to YOU as a woman of God in understanding your role as a woman whether you marry or not. Your relationship with the Lord will be blessed and will flourish as you better understand who He is and how He cares for you.

With all of that said, it was not an easy road. And sometimes, I felt like I was dealing with the devil himself. :) There was many a time I had to hold my tongue and take the wrong, even if I felt it was unwarranted. What got me through this time was LOTS of prayer and fasting. I cannot stress that enough.

My husband was speaking with a co-worker recently, and the woman said to him, "You know, you always tell the truth. You tell it like it is, as much as I hate it when you come around."

That tickled me to no end. I mean, it was so funny, because it is very true. When you are not ready to serve the Lord, people who do can just irk you. They get under your skin and on your nerves because the light they carry exposes darkness. But that is a sign that God is working on that person, they just don't realize it.

So, if you are in a marriage where one of you does not yet know the Lord, expect things to be hard, but don't be discouraged. Live each day as for the Lord, to be pleasing on to Him. Keep your spouse in prayer, but understand as well that your relationship with God is personal between you and God. No one but God knows whether any person will be saved.

You only have control over yourself. Whether your spouse ever gets saved or not, you are still accountable to serve the Lord with your whole heart. Do what you are supposed to before the Lord and all else will work out as He sees fit and in His timing. Remember, God desires to give us good gifts and to bless us abundantly...if we let Him.

I don't share this testimony as a blueprint for how others lives should be. This is my personal story and that only. To the extent that is blesses others, then thank God.

However, if there is any advise that I could give, it would be to keep your eyes on God and seek Him to lead and guide your life. As we learned in the Old Testament, "Don't touch the ark of God."(II Samuel 6:1-7) Let Him have HIS way, which often means us stepping out of the way. God doesn't need our help.

Main points?

• There are ungodly men, just as there are ungodly women. While women may have their gripes, men would have a few of their own too. :-)

• Don't worry about trying to change a man (if married) or find a man (if single). As you obey God, He will bring to you that which He has for you.

• Respect the roles God has established for men and women. This does not diminish the woman, but providing a pattern by which we can understand who God is and how He relates to us. A Godly man will honor his wife in all things and not try to dominate her.

• Your Christ-like example can impart the life of Christ to others, drawing them to Christ as well. God can change the cold heart of a sinner; remember, He did it for you and me.

• Society is perverted all around, so don't worry about society's standards. Just live for God and let Him lead you through your life. Don't compromise what you know God has for you by trying to submit to something which is unGodly.

• Ask God to soften your heart and open it up to receive what He has for you. Acknowledge within yourself that you too have been guilty of hurting others and ask Him to set you free to forgive those who have hurt you as He forgives your faults as well. This way healing can begin and you can start to experience a more abundant life in Christ - with or without a husband.

In ending this, I just want to thank God for His mercy, wisdom, grace and love. I thank Him for opening my eyes to my own deception and idolatry. I thank Him for changing my heart and my husband's heart and teaching us what marriage really is...as opposed to what we thought it was. I thank Him for creating in my husband a man of strength, wisdom, honor, and Godly leadership; a man whose heart is after Him.

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The Beauty of Submission

• What the Scriptures say about Godly authority 
• Deborah as an example for women
  
• The beauty of the woman's role & purpose
  
• The root of resistance to God's ordained roles (coming)
• Answers to common questions

 In the previous articles, we searched the Scriptures to establish that the authority of God is patriarchal. We also examined the story of the judge, Deborah, as the epitome of a woman in service to the Lord: one who was wise, prudent, proclaimed God's word and supported the patriarchy of God.

What then is the purpose for which woman was created and why is it so critical that she submit to man? One could simply say, "God commanded woman to submit to the man, and that's enough." While that is accurate, God doesn't do things arbitrarily. There is a reason for everything He does...even when we cannot understand it (Isaiah 55:9, Romans 11:34).


"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Genesis 2:18

We stated earlier how the woman must submit to man as a result of Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden. However, notice that her purpose in providing companionship for, and being a help to, man was part of God's original plan. From the beginning, woman was created for man (not man for woman).

The question then becomes, "How is the woman to help the man?" In answering that we find understanding for the role she is to serve and why submission is necessary.

The Heart of the Matter

"And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Genesis 2:21-23

When God was creating woman, He took one of Adam's ribs in order to form her. This small point is not insignificant. Again, God does everything for a reason.

The ribs provide one main function: protection for the heart and the lungs. Both the heart and lungs are critical to the life of the body, yet the nature of their work requires that these organs be soft, delicate, and pliable (and thereby in need of protection).

The heart keeps blood flowing, ensuring that life reaches other parts of the body. It also provides a place of refreshing where the blood can get re-oxygenated or revived in order to continue its work. As such, the heart needs to be sensitive and flexible enough to the respond to the body's electrical impulses regarding contraction in order to keep the blood pumping. It is strong and is one of the largest muscles in the human body. It is an involuntary muscle meaning we do not have to consciously tell the heart to beat. It is created to anticipate the needs of the body and does so automatically.

The lungs are the place where gas exchange occurs within the human body; it collects the oxygen needed to give energy to the blood and expels toxins such as carbon dioxide. Similar to the heart, the lungs must be elastic enough to inflate/deflate as needed to support the inhaling and exhaling of air. Again, the lungs are involuntary muscles and expand/contract without willful thought by nature of their design.

The heart and lungs work around the clock, processing on average 8,000 - 9,000 liters of blood and air respectively a day. When they don't work properly, it impacts the whole body's ability to function as it should.

Understanding the functional purpose that these delicate organs serve and how vital their work is to the health of the body, it is clear to see why God - in His infinite wisdom - encased the heart and lungs under the protection of the ribs.

The Air We Breathe

God made Eve from Adam's rib; the part of his body that supports and protects his heart and lungs. The analogy is that the woman is the "heart and lungs", while the man is the "ribcage" which protects her.

Scripture says that the life of the flesh is in the blood (Leviticus 17:11). So when we discuss the functions of the heart and lungs, we are specifically addressing those organs needed to sustain and promote life in the body. This is a parallel to who woman is and what she does.

Is a woman's role only relevant to a husband and wife relationship? No! It has nothing to do with being married or having children. We are speaking of how God has designed women with the primary purpose of her carrying and supporting life - in all areas. Woman is a life-giver whether dealing with the family of her parents, the family of her husband, or the family of God. This is simply who she is and it can be expressed via the role of a wife, a mother, and/or a handmaiden to the Lord.

Let's look at this more closely.

• The Heart of the Home
• A Breath of Fresh Air
  
• A Place of Refreshing
• An Inner Strength and Might
  
• Symbiotic Alignment
  
• Industrious Nature
  
• Delicate and Pliable
  

The Heart of the Home

There is a saying that the woman is the "heart of the home." Notice that she is the heart of the "home", not the heart of a house. In other words, a woman makes a house a home by what she brings to it. She is the life force in the home, both spiritually and physically.

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

"She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." Proverbs 31:15

The Hebrew word for Eve is Chavvah which means "life". The woman is the one who propagates and regenerates life; she physically nurtures and gives birth to life, but she is also a spiritual life-giver.

The same attributes a woman physically provides to a baby in the the womb is what the woman brings spiritually to other environments: nourishment, sustenance, nurturing, insulation, warmth, comfort, a place conducive for growth, etc.

Whether one is ever a mother physically or not, like Deborah, a woman can serve as a spiritual mother to God's people.

A Breath of Fresh Air

As a life-giver, the woman is to the family what the Holy Spirit is to the Church. The word "spirit" in the New Testament is the Greek work pneuma, which means "air". The Holy Spirit is a Comforter; births and raises God's children for Him; and pursues only the will of the Father. He is an intercessor between the God and His children, and grieves/mourns when the children go astray. The Holy Spirit never seeks attention for Himself, but works to direct all eyes to God.

Like the work of the lungs in providing oxygen to give life to the body, the spirit the woman carries determines whether she brings life or death wherever she goes.

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." Proverbs 12:4

Look at how closely tied the state of the woman is to the health and well-being of her husband. The right attitude is a crowning glory, a contrary one is a sickness.

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." Proverbs 21:9

"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." Proverbs 21:19

"It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house." Proverbs 25:24

"A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike." Proverbs 27:15

Is God picking on women here? No, He is trying to help us understand how the disposition of a woman can affect everything around her. One of the strongest evidences to woman as a definer of the atmosphere is seen in the verse below.

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." I Peter 3:1-2

The right spirit in a woman is enough to even convert an unbelieving husband. Why? It is the witness of how she lives her life that is the testimony. The woman's spirit affects the quality of the air (or the atmosphere)...whether for good or for evil.

A Place of Refreshing

The woman is to be a place of refreshing for the man, both physically and spiritually.

"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love." Proverbs 5:18-19

"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." Proverbs 18:22

"Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:9

An Inner Strength and Might

Because the heart and lungs are delicately constructed, you might look at them and assume that they are weak organs. However, we know from the amount of blood and air they process that they are in fact very resilient. The strength of these organs then is not something that is relayed in physical appearance; it is an inner strength.

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10

The word for virtuous in that text is the Hebrew word "chayil" which means: strength, might, efficiency, wealth, force, army.

It is not that God created woman to be without strength. He created her to show strength in a different way. What is the evidence of a woman's strength, wealth, and might? It is found in her virtue. Such, according to God, is priceless.

Symbiotic Alignment

Both the heart and lungs are involuntary muscles meaning that they are designed to support the body in an almost unnoticed way. We don't have to tell the heart and lungs what to do. They are sensitive and responsive enough to the inputs from the body to anticipate what is needed. The heart and lungs work without us being consciously aware that they are actually doing what they do.

So to is the woman designed to be in support of others. She anticipates the needs of her family and moves to meet those needs.

"House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD." Proverbs 19:4

The word prudent here is the Hebrew word sakal which means "to wisely understand, to have insight, to be circumspect, to comprehend".

"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12

There is a common bond built upon trust because the husband knows that she will always strive to do good. This allows them to work together, complementing each other as they accomplish the work set before them.

Industrious Nature

The heart and the lungs are always working, multi-tasking, 24/7. Women are also designed to be productive, hard workers.

"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27

"Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house" Psalms 128:3a

"She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar." Proverbs 31:13-14

"She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff." Proverbs 31:16-19

Remember, woman is a life-giver. This is not limited to the marital relationship; it is who she was created to be. This same work ethic and diligence is to be used for the benefit of the church and those in need.

"Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus" Romans 16:3

"Greet Mary, who bestowed much labour on us." Romans 16:6

"Salute Tryphena and Tryphosa, who labour in the Lord. Salute the beloved Persis, which laboured much in the Lord. " Romans 16:12

"She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:20

A woman is to be busy with the things of God so that she is not caught up in things that steal life rather than promoting it.

"A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing." Proverbs 9:13

"But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not." I Timothy 5:11-13

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5

Delicate and Pliable

Like the heart and lungs, the nature of woman's role requires that she be delicate and pliable. She needs to be sensitive to the needs of those around her. She is given intuition to anticipate the needs of others. She needs to be tender in order to nurture. She needs to be delicate in order to show forth gentleness. She needs to be pliable so that she can adjust to the changing demands of her family.

While being in the critical role of a life-giver, we know that the Scriptures indicate that woman is the weaker vessel.

"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. " I Peter 3:7

As we saw above, "weakness" does not mean an absence of strength. It simply denotes that she requires protection so that she can do the work God has purposed for her.

Further, notice that the husband's responsibility to the wife is one of giving her "honor". The role of a husband in protecting the wife is not an insult. On the contrary, it is a manifestation of his understanding and appreciation of the role she plays as his help.

True Gender Equality

Woman is equal to man. The woman was taken from the side of man; not from his head as if she is his authority, and not from his foot as is she is beneath him. This does not mean, however that they can - or were even made to - serve in the same roles.

Consider Jesus. He is equal to God and equally God (John 5:18; Philemon 2:6). Yet, His role is one of a Son in relation to God. This requires that Jesus submit Himself to the authority of His Father. It is not His will that He does, but that of His Father. He must obey, He must submit, He must reverence His Father because His role demands it. This does not make Him any less God.

The woman is called to respect and reverence the man; the man is called to love and honor the woman. This makes perfect sense. Remember, God has a reason for everything He does. Woman respects man because - as the ribs - he is in the position of taking the hard blows of life. He is called to lay down his life each day so as to protect the woman (Ephesians 5:25). In turn, understanding how essential her role is to completing what he is called to do, the man loves and honors the woman in appreciation for her tireless efforts to support him and his work.

Please see the comparison. We reverence Jesus because He is worthy. Why is He worthy? He laid down His life for His bride (Revelations 5:1-10). He took the hard blows for us (His Bride) in paying a debt that we were unable, and were not created, to pay. In turn, He loves and honors us because we have submitted to his authority so that He might work through us to accomplish his work of saving souls.

How can you appreciate and reverence the magnificence of Jesus' sacrifice and yet at the same time despise the reflection of that same sacrifice as depicted in the role of man? You cannot. When you reject the patriarchal order of God, you simultaneously reject the Lordship of Jesus Christ Himself.

"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30-31

Does a Godly woman love God's people, her husband, and her children? Yes, but that is not why she does what she does. She embraces the role of a woman and seeks to bring glory to patriarchal authority because she has a fear and reverence for the Lord.

Bless God for His love, divine wisdom, and sovereignty in that He has designed a creation that is so beautifully a reflection of Himself. What joy to know that He has directed man to love and honor the woman so that she may promote life as she supports and submits to the authority He has established.

So, what does the rebellious woman say? "I don't want to be loved. I don't want to be honored. I don't want to be protected." A woman who asserts that she needs no such protection is akin to a heart or lung which determines that it no longer needs the ribs. Exposed and unprotected, at the slightest blow the organs would fail and the entire body would die.

Below are videos on biblical womanhood as seen in Titus Chapter 2 by Dr. Voddie Baucham which is truly worth listening to. These videos will set the foundation for our next topic in this series which will deal with the root causes of the rebellion to this role for women and men.

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